The holiday season is upon us in full force, and if we believe the media good-times advertising blitz, they'll be full of unlimited joy and good tidings. (I was never sure what tidings are. If anyone knows, let me know!)

Families with problematic substance users usually dread the holidays, the constant worry of their struggling family member spoiling the family's  good times with unpredictable behavior.

Here are some suggestions for not just  'getting through' the holiday season, but to help you and the rest of your family to enjoy it more.

Set firm and  respectful boundaries. This guideline for boundaries hold true 365 days a year, but re-establishing them during the holiday season will lower the likelihood of your holiday being disappointing.

Look at the larger picture. The fact that there are many other occasions down the road to celebrate, reflects an aspect of addiction and recovery that my clients often have a hard time grasping: addiction and recovery are a process that unfolds over time, with progress and relapse, ebbs and flows.

Manage your expectations is another important concept. Having a realistic and flexible sense of what to expect can make adjusting to the normal slips and slides of life in recovery easier.

Your child’s drinking or getting high is worrisome and often a challenge to figure out what steps to take.  Flexibility and being open to different approaches to prevention, counseling and treatment for substance use is crucial. Harm reduction approaches can offer you an approach allowing you to get back into the ‘driver’s seat’ of family control if you find yourself in the passenger seat—or even worse, the back seat.

The philosophy of harm reduction is based on our knowledge that human beings will always be engaged in behaviors that carry risks, like alcohol and other drug use and unsafe sex. Harm reduction embraces the value of each person’s dignity and the respect of a person’s right to make choices. This shifts the focus from attempting to restrict or prohibit risky behaviors to reducing the negative consequences associated with them.

The war in Afghanistan is now considered the longest war in United States history.

Wrong.

The US government’s "War on Drugs" recently turned 40. The longest war in American history by far has been for the most part under the radar of the general public now for four decades. Flashback: Nixon is president, hot pants are in, and Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World" is the #1 song of the year.

I'm embarrassed to admit that it's been under my radar also until the publicity this summer about the 40th anniversary. Since then I’ve become aware of the work of the Drug Policy Alliance (DPA), Law Enforcement Against Prohibition (LEAP) and the grassroots movement Moms United to End the War on Drugs, all of whom advocate for the reduction of the harm associated with drug policies and for policies, as suggested by LEAP, "grounded in science, compassion, health and human rights".

Father's voices often get drowned out in the commotion of daily family life. Hare are a few fathers who get it:

Dadonfire is a great blog by a dad "on fire about the impact of addiction and need for solutions". It blends comprehensive information for the public and professionals alike, opinion, and intelligent discussion about public health/policy issues.

Four lessons from fatherhood is a posting from Decoder, a parent-to-parent blog found on Drugfree.org that tackles the real, everyday issues we face in raising healthy teens. Dads sometimes have a hard time admitting their mistakes. And their voices often get drowned out in the commotion of daily family life. This father offers some common sense parenting wisdom from a father who gets it.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

Many people in addiction recovery also have chronic pain associated with illnesses or injuries. The stigma and public ignorance about addiction and recovery, combined with the epidemic of prescription opioid abuse, create frustrating barriers for many people to get quality, effective care for their pain management.

A recent article in The Philadelphia Inquirer by an anesthesiologist at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania identifies the problems built into our healthcare system and culture that contribute to the struggle that people with chronic pain have in getting relief. She describes chronic pain as "a staggering burden, reducing overall quality of life, social functioning, and psychological well-being". She cites a dated but significant research report estimating that pain costs the U. S. public $100 billion a year in associated health care, lost wages, and legal costs. And we know that with as we live longer, the problem is likely to get worse.